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The eve of the first day of December, a powerful wind storm lashed the desert with some cool rain. The air swirled manically over our house and, I think, all others in our New Mexico town. The next morning dawned so fresh. I felt like the earth was brand new. The solstice nears.
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My new motto: "Go this way- really fast. If something gets in your way, turn." This from one of two of my all-time favorite films. (In case you're not up on your 80s cheese, it's Better Off Dead. Or as B calls it, "Two Dollars." I haven't posted to this journal with any regularity so the chances that this is being read by anyone are minute. However, in the event that someone is actually reading these words- Can anyone guess what my other favorite film is? I'm betting on no but I hereby throw down the gauntlet.
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Happy 60th, dad.
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You all are beauties. You know it actually did make everything seem so much better this morning just to read all of your comments. Thank you so much. It makes going through little trials here and there totally worthwhile if only to feel the support of people you love. Thanks also for the emails. Wow. I feel a real sweetness. And the next time any of you goes through somethin' a little rough, please air it out just so you can hear the echo come back from your fellowship. I'll be first in line.
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Our third pump in as many days burnt out this morning.
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such a terrible day. I get tired just thinking about going into all the details but it had to do with the swamp cooler burning down and filling the house with the smell of car crash and a Comcast technician turning off our internet and cable because she claimed our house had "leaking voltage" with registered "peaks and valleys" where we should have had a "nice straight line" like our lovely neighbors here. She shut us down without notifying first because she was afraid our apparently hemorrhaghing house would "take out the whole neighborhood." Well, coincidentally (?) the pump on the cooler went bust and filled the house with aformentioned unwelcome scent after being told that my 3 year old and I were being bathed in ungrounded wattage seeking an outlet. (It was a whole A/C, lost neutral, your appliances are all going to fry any minute type thing.) Well, I didn't handle it well. And small children tend to absorb vibes so needless to say, my daughter was in no mood to help me out and take a teensy little nap. No, it was all "but mom, I won't play on those wires, just next to them, I'll be careful." Etc, etc. The house is still a heat pit, autumn is still nowhere NEAR in sight. My husband is literally Superman- installing a new pump at 10:30 at night and buying an electrical kit to check every outlet since the earliest we could get an electrician out is 8am tomorrow morning and my sister- the mother of infant twins and her own toddler, took my cupcake for an hour and a half after her twins went to bed so that I wouldn't go into my very own version of live wire meltdown. Forget the Halloween coffee cups I was yearning for yesterday. Today all I wanted was a regular old overheated summer afternoon. Shout out to our good friend A with a 3 year old of his own who despite a migraine was willing to step in to help in any way he could. And again, a million thanks to my sis who is the kind of woman every woman should have in her life.
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It's way too early to start posting with little autumn-inspired userpics but darn it all like a frickin' frackin' argyle sock in three different colors- I need October. I need glowing misshapen pumpkins with their bewitching grins cut out and the beautiful-to-the-point-of-tears smell of woodsmoke in the air so I can wear the spiced wine cable-knit sweater I plan to buy from J Crew the minute it goes on sale and I want to use my Crate and Barrel witches' brew oversized mugs with little cat whiskers and bats on them which I pulled from the cabinets over the fridge last weekend to tenderly wipe clean with some baking soda. IT'S TOO DAMN HOT. Our swamp cooler is so not up to the task of this utterly unwelcome string of record heat we've been enduring here in the Southwest. I need yellow leaves on the trees in the Rio Grande valley, people. I need to feel a little chill bite my knuckles and for the light to take on that golden, slanted quality that it does as our hemisphere begins to tilt away from brother sun. In an unrelated note, I pulled weeds from our front and backyard the other night. A few were almost taller than I was which is not saying much, but still. There is a strange satisfying feeling that accompanies ripping something out by its roots. After about an hour, my hands had never been so dirty or so happy in all my life.
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Little did I know
that I would be inventing
a room of your own.
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It's raining out. A summer storm and it sounds and looks so beautiful. The sky is an ambivalent mix of desert blue, puffy white clouds and grey. There is, of course, the sound of thunder rolling in the distance. All the trees outside my window are shivering, looking like they would break away from their posts and sprint across the humid asphalt on my cul-de-sac if they could. The wind chimes on the front porch are doing their crazy dance which precipitated their removal from the back porch outside our bedroom window (S couldn't sleep when they went beyond their peaceful clinking and into turbo clang mode like they are now.) I feel so full of yearning. I'm half yearning for autumn (which, I know, it's way too early for that- we are solidly midsummer) and half yearning for that unnameable thing that leaves you speechless (and restless) in the midst of an afternoon summer storm. I wish I could go out and jog in the rain but a) B is sound asleep in the other room and b) thunderstorms and mp3 players apparently don't mix. Some guy got his jaw thoroughly messed up after being struck by lightning while out on a run sporting his iPod. Yes, I've gone back to listening to music while I run and to be frank, I've been really lovin' it. I've even got Michael Jackson's 'So You Wanna be Startin' Somethin'' in the mix. It gets you going. Well, it gets me going anyway. This restlessness, for lack of a better word, is bone deep. Marrow. The summer rain is just a trickle now, gathering its momentum for another lashing no doubt. Yep, there it goes. (Pause.) More thunder. I kinda wish I could run into it and disappear. Melt into the unexpected cold power of it all and experience that proverbial but elusive oneness with all things. Instead I'll just check my eBay listing that ends within the hour. And read about Danny Radcliffe being the UK's richest teen and claiming that money doesn't affect him either way in this week's People. B should be up any minute clamoring in her still half asleep way for me to hold her while she wakes up fully. (Pause.) More thunder. Post.
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